Overcoming Bystander Apathy

You are walking down a crowded sidewalk in a large metropolitan city. You start feeling numbness in your hand and then your arm. You then begin feeling numbness in your face and a severe headache hits quickly. You are having trouble seeing with one or both eyes. You are feeling a bit dizzy. You are having trouble walking and feel that you are losing your balance. You decide to sit down on the sidewalk next to the building. You are confused and find it difficult to speak. You think to yourself, “Oh, my gosh, I am having a stroke!”

What do you do?

The natural response would be to yell that you needed help. Now picture yourself – slumped on the sidewalk against a building, one arm dangling and slurred speech yelling at the passing crowd. What do you think would happen? Right…probably nothing. People would be passing by and observing how others are reacting. With no one else reacting they will just keep on going.

Groups of bystanders in this situation usually do not help for a couple reasons. One - they think someone else will. Two - they are unsure if there really is an emergency situation and whether they are responsible to do something. We have all experienced people on the sidewalks screaming incoherently at us and other passersby.

But we REALLY need help! What can we do to get the help we need?

According to Robert Cialdini, in a book I am currently reading, there is something we can do to insure we get the help we need. We need to cut through the social programming inherent with passing crowds.

Time would be crucial as your symptoms increase. You must define your need as a real emergency situation. So, you find someone coming towards you, stare directly at them, point at them and in a loud voice say, “You, in the red dress, I need help. Call an ambulance!” You have now put that person in the position of a ‘rescuer’ for you. They will not be asking themselves: What aid is required here? Should I do it or will someone else? Has someone else already done it? You have removed all doubt – they now know it is an emergency, that you need help, and what you want them to do.

You need to avoid the tendency to ask the entire group of bystanders for help. Make a request to a single individual. Pick a person and ASSIGN them the task of helping you.

Naturally, I was reading this book, Influence - the Psychology of Persuasion, with an eye towards helping businesses overcome customer and employee bystander apathy. But in studying ‘social proof’ I came across the above situation of how we all might be in need of getting through to people to help us on an individual basis.

I hope that you will never need to apply this technique; however, if you do, I hope that you will remember it.

Take care.

Tom States